My Heart is Full of Mucous
Dudes, I watched SO MUCH television this past week. Omigod. It's mostly my own fault. I had been whining to Uutey for weeks that I never get to use my sick days and blah blah blah I'm never sick and wouldn't it be great just to have a cold and spend a whole workday on the couch? Well I didn't think the Goblin King would actually hear and grant my wish, but he did and he inflicted me with this Welcome to the Pacific Northwest Inititation Flu/Cold. It used not ONE sick day, but FIVE of them! And it devoured my WHOLE weekend to boot! Yippee! That added up to lots of Food Network, MTV and my overdue discovery of Video on Demand. DUDES... there are like a hundred free movies just sitting there waiting to be watched any time! I VODed Lucas, The Fifth Element and Notorious all in one day. No due dates, no late fees, NO COMMERCIALS. Cowabunga. That's what's right with America.
Here's what's wrong: MTV 1) My Super Sweet Sixteen. I got caught in a mid-afternoon marathon of this unbeliiiieeeeevable display of yucky icky disgusting spoiled teenaged pricesses (and one flaming prince) lashing out at their insanely accommodating parents over the details of their $150,000+ 16th birthday parties. Jee-zus, I think my 16th birthday party was greasy fries at Angelo's and maybe a 40 oz. Apparently there are rich brats all over this nation (well, at least in FL, CA and NY) who make Paris Hilton look like a sweetie pie. 2) Date My Mom. I cannot believe this show is socially acceptable.
And as for you Travis Stork, a.k.a The Biatchelor, you totally dissed my girl Moana at that last rose ceremony. Have a nice plastic life with your safe choice, Miss All-American Kindergarten Teacher. Maybe you'll get to first base by your wedding night, if you even care to. ABC, give up on this craptastic excuse for a "romantic" show. The finale gave me nightmares!!
posted by Sandy @ 2:03 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Wow, I didn't know you were that sick! The Goblin King really does hear your prayers.
My Super Sweet Sixteen is the most repellant show on television. I would watch a marathon of the Simple Life or Fear Factor or The Fucking Swan over two episodes of MSSS. It makes me want to hire a P.I. to follow the kids' parents and catch them in illegal activity so they get sent to jail AND have all their money taken away so the stupid kids will be poor and have to sell their TACKY UGLY $4000 sweet 16 dress (along with all their other possessions).
Anyway, sorry your illness ruined your Seattle weekend. Hopefully you'll buck up in time for the Oscars on Sunday. You'll need all your energy for proper ridiculing.
Ahhh... daytime TV, here I come! Since I'm unemployed as of yesterday I will have plenty of time to catch up on these popular culture references that I keep missing. I've never heard of My Super Sweet Sixteen. I don't have cable though, so I'll probably end up sticking mainly with movies and TV shows on DVD. So is this video on demand thing a cable channel? You don't have to pay for the movies? That does sound pretty sweet.
Video on Demand is offered through our local cable provider (Comcast.) I just press the Video on Demand button on my remote to see the menu. There is some pay stuff and some free stuff. The other night we demanded Manhattan Murder Mystery- free! Then Sunday morning we demanded Spongebob Squarepants- free! I don't know how the networks/Comcast benefit from this arrangement, and I don't care.
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