Penguin mania goes wayyy too far

OK, yeah, I saw March of the Penguins. It was pretty cute the way they waddled around and passed that egg between each other like in that one drinking game. But the birdie boom is getting on my last nerve. That new Coke commercial was tolerable the first 2 times I saw it. The Happy Feet trailer featured so much Robin Williams it made my ass twitch. But those were harmless (if annoying) media ploys to appeal to the public's penguin infatuation. This is just sick and twisted:

LONDON - A baby penguin thought to have been snatched from a zoo as a quirky festive gift is unlikely to survive until Christmas Day, his keeper warned Tuesday.

Toga, a three-month old jackass penguin, was stolen from Amazon World on the Isle of Wight in southern England on Saturday. (Yahoo News)

Almost as twisted as naming a breed of penguin "jackass." WTF?

I Love/Hate AccuRadio

If you don't know what I'm talking about, log onto http://www.accuradio.com and turn your speakers on.

On the one hand, it's easier to sit in my pseudo-cubicle for 8 straight hours each day with tunes playing. I like the Flock of Eighties station, I do. But there are certain "artists" that I just cannot stomach listening to (and there are more than FIVE of them, AccuBigShots, so can you do anything about that check box feature?) Phil Collins, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Bruce Hornsby, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? Sammy Hagar, ROLL OVER AND DIE.

When I wear out on Flock of Eighties at about 1 PM, I switch to the Classical station. It's handy because it gathers less odd looks from passersby in the hallway, and occasionally it will play a ditty (I can't remember names like Number 2.3 in G Major, K. 256c) I recognize from an Olive Garden commercial or something. But then about every hour some Yanni-esque, New Agey voice-of-a-hairy-man will come on to rouse me from my instrumental-only daze. Dude is singing over the strings. Josh Groban does not belong on the classical station! That's what Classical Crossover is for. Am I wrong?

That leaves AccuHolidays. There is a time for holiday songs, and I am of the mind that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for 25+ days is too expansive a time. The lobby of my apartment building disagrees. As does the university cafeteria. As does that local FM radio station. I can't bring myself to contribute to the noise pollution.

Hopefully I'll fare better with Listening Post...

))<>((

Yeah, I saw Me and You and Everyone We Know a couple months ago and loved it. LOVED IT. And I just stumbled upon a blog that you have to check out if you are a fan of this movie, particularly a fan of that cheeky little man Brandon Ratcliff, who plays the younger brother. This is Miranda July's blog, but Brandon writes his own entries and the kid is a crack-up.

ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW

I recommend Brandon Blog #4. He's goin places.

Grandma's Brag Book

Look how cute my kitties are!



OK, no more talking about the kitties. Promise. X

Yes, Virginia, there are rednecks.

The Hollywood-driven Geisha orgy is upon us, so in retaliation to the masses, we'll probably be hearing a lot about Orientalism and Asian-directed racism in the next few weeks. I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and point your attention to this e-mail, allegedly sent to the Asian proprietors of an apple orchard in the Midwest. Here's a choice excerpt:

Yesterday, my family and I visited your orchard. I saw very early on when we pulled into your property that the asian influence is abundant. I can appreciate different cultures and lifestyles and philsophies, but apple picking to me is about as American as you can get. To have an asian worker yelling at people in the orchard in chinese or japanese is appalling. To see guard-like asian people strategically placed in the orchard reminds me of visions of Vietnam. I can appreciate rules and regulations and respect for the apple trees but when you have some asian person yelling at Americans in an asian language is just out right ridiculous and stupid.

Read the rest of it here (you'll have to scroll down to 12.05):
Angry Asian Man

My favorite proverb

I don't want to be all "cats are my bag," but I have yet another feline-related post to share today. My former boss Yoshi taught me this Japanese proverb which is positively precious:

Neko no hitai mitai
"Small as a cat's forehead."

For example, you might walk into someone's 300-sq-ft apartment and say:

"Kono heya ha neko no hitai mitai desu."
"This apartment looks like a cat's forehead!"

To demonstrate the appropriacy (yes I know that's not a real word but it should be, dammit) of this proverb, check out this cat's forehead.

Tiny, right? Yeah.

My kitties are perverts

Apparently, instead of Goober and Nite-nite, we should've named the kitties Greg and Marsha. They are incestuous, yo! Nite-nite is one of those orally-fixated, too-soon-removed-from-mother's-teet wool-suckers, and she quickly discovered that her favorite pastime is (loudly) munching on Goober's belly fur. Note that his belly fur is, geographically speaking, near to his, uh, wee willie winky. So that looks and sounds pretty off, but Goober had been barely tolerating her advances. Now I've just received a disturbing email from Marc saying that Goober was humping Nite-nite on the dining table. FUBAR. First of all, Goober is a eunuch and therefore should have been deprived of his primal urges. Secondly, they are babies! Only 4 months old... even cats who are in tact don't boink each other at this age. I have to assume that Marc was hyperbolizing because the alternative is too horrific. Perveted puddy-tats!