Looking for Comedy in Hollywood

So last night I went to see Good Night, and Good Luck (which was not even all that, but nevermind) but first I had to sit through a trailer for the latest Albert Brooks brainchild. Perhaps you've heard of its premise: The U.S. government decides in order to understand what makes Muslims tick, they need to find out what makes them laugh. So they send Albert Brooks to-- wait for it-- INDIA. Where 80% of the population is Hindu! I really hope that's an intentional comment on how ignorant Washington really is and not an actual symptom of its/Hollywood's ignorance.

By the way, Al and Steve Martin must be undergoing the same facial regimen because they are equally waxy looking. Guess who's playing the old man's love interest? Sheetal Sheth (Maya from American Chai) doing her best Hindustani accent. And guess what her character's name is? Yup! Maya! This movie looks GREAT.

The fogeys in the audience were cracking up throughout the trailer. Just in case the plot itself didn't depress you enough...

Flint: Movin' on up

Flint, Michigan is ranked as the fourth most dangerous city in the U.S. according to this study: Group Ranks Most Dangerous Cities

Hecks, back in my day, it was #7. Seem as if the city's goin ta pot!

Sidebar: in case you haven't heard this particular rant from me before, Michael Moore grew up in a SUBURB! (And now he lives in the Upper West Side.)

If You Were a Sushi Roll, What Would You Be?

According to America's #1 News Source (Us Weekly, duh!), the menu at Christina Aguilera's wedding

featured a ''Christina Aguilera Roll'' - a cut roll wrapped in soy paper with spicy tuna, rice, avocado and topped with sweet eel sauce.

Which got me thinking... what would be inside a Sandy hand roll? If Christina's spicy tuna, then I'm probably something more pedestrian like crab. With mayo.

Britney maki = natto. Doesn't she look like her feet stink?

Oishiisoooo!

Oh man, look what I'm missing in my old Tokyo neighborhood! The chance to stand in line for 2 hours to buy me some fancy shmancy American ice cream. For $9! Aww, shucks. Not sure how the notorious singing servers will go over. Hope they don't expect a tip!

Eat up, Tokyo -- get fat!
Cold Stone Creamery Opens in Roppongi Hills

Office-Eaters Anonymous

Whomever's job it is to empty the trash can by my desk must think I am HUGE. Today alone I have managed to fill it with a granola bar wrapper (have you tried those Quaker fruity ones? Delish! Ew, I just sounded like Rachel Ray), paper coffee cup, tangerine peel, apple core, and rice krispie treat wrapper. Yeah, and that's not counting the actual LUNCH I ate on my break. The beauty part is that I am sitting here right now hungry. Something about being planted in front of a computer screen all day just makes me want to nosh constantly. Maybe I should take a tip from svelte (tsss) Mariah Carey and snack on ice.

Uhhh, someone down the hall just said to someone else 'Have a dandy weekend.' And they weren't even being cheeky. See what I'm dealing with? I have no choice but to consume mass quantities.

When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be a Tabloid Expert!

Dudes, I was watching the Comedy Central Power Line-up last night (Spade, Stewart, and my new fave Colbert) and one of them had this guest on named Jessi Cohen (or something equally Judaic) who was a Tabloid News Expert! Professor Tabloid did this little Talk Soup recap of the weekly tabs, including that Star story about celebrities aging. (BTW she totally manipulated the story by showing a recent pic of Jessica Lange that was NOT the one in the mag and was significantly less haggard.) I could totally get into that job...

In case your inquiring minds missed this one, Kimberly Stewart is following in her BFF's stiletto footprints!She's prematurely engaged to a post-adolescent!! According to a friend of the bridegroom-to-be (Talan of Laguna Beach "fame"), "he really likes her." Great. Kimberly Stewart to Wed Laguna Beach Hunk

Meanwhile, it looks as if Paris and Nachos have called it quits. Apparently, Stav "needs time to reflect." On which knock-kneed starlet to shtoop next? Paris and Stavros Split-- For Now

The REAL David Cross?

What exactly are the folks at Gawker.com on? Apparently any bald guy with glasses can pull the wool over the eyes of these greenhorns. Hell, I might even grab a skincap and a fakey mustache and see if I can't go score some shots and hipster skanks myself! Har har har! In case you haven't been following the Fake/Real David fiasco, Gawker has generously recapped their idiocy here: Gawker's Coverage of the Fake David Cross

Maya, maybe you should scan and post that picture WE have with the REAL David Cross and show these loons what a bald alcoholic funnyman born from a Jewish vagina really looks like. (My copy is lost somewhere in my uncle's basement.)